New Years is the perfect time to make personal promises meant to improve ones life for the upcoming year. However, while over 40% of Americans make resolutions, one study suggests that only 8% of people actually achieve those by the end of the year. There are many reasons including setting too many goals and getting sidetracked by small failures. And while continually being derailed may be fine for those wanting to lose a few extra pounds, improve their social time, or increase tight budgets, its another matter entirely for those looking towards an independent future after a failed marriage. Fortunately, there are some simple but effective resolutions that can help anyone focused on starting over after a divorce.
Forgive Yourself and Your Ex
Respect and trust can easily be lost in a marriage and during the divorce process. While neither may be possible in severe cases such as abuse, time can mend even some of the deepest cracks. However, forgiveness begins internally and can start immediately. In fact, it should. After all, the responsibility of romantic failure is often unbalanced, but its never completely one-sided. So make your first resolution to forgive yourself. And except for in extreme situations, opt to forgive your ex and anyone else who has wronged you in the process. It will make it far easier to move on.
Having a strong support system is essential prior to any divorce. But having one doesnt guarantee itll be used. Heres the thing: The divorce itself is only a small battle of the emotional war. Focusing on yourself and new responsibilities can be a new experience full of exciting challenges. But it can also be overwhelming and stressful. When the latter happens, release the negativity and accept the support from the loved ones and friends waiting to provide the shoulders you need. And if thats still not enough, seek out professional support. Youre worth it.
Communicate and Set Healthy Boundaries with Your Ex
As of the early 2000s, 40% kids who didnt live with their biological fathers post-divorce rarely saw them. But divorce never needs to impede a loving parents rights. In the event of custody, Michigan courts will always prioritize the needs of the child and try to keep both parents legally in the picture unless extreme issues are involved. Regardless of your own personal opinions of your ex, communication will be essential in the case of co-parenting or shared custody requirements. Accept that upfront, open mature communication routes, and set healthy boundaries to rein in and stop any unnecessary stress before it starts.
Be Patient and Present
Divorce is just the first step towards the rest of your life, so remember to be patient and kind to yourself. Dont beat yourself up if you need to cry let the tears flow. Releasing the pent-up emotions can clear your head and help you regain focus. Just be sure to avoid wallowing. Staying present can help ensure you wont. Leave the past behind and focus on every day as it comes. That will also allow you to appreciate the positive moments and the special people in your life who still want to share them with you. Follow these few suggestions to discover how easy starting over after a divorce can be.