Written by Christopher on May 26, 2017

Dating After Divorce

Family

A Michigan divorce is often bittersweet. Sure, youre out of a bad relationship and looking towards the future, but now what? Quiet days turn into lonely nights, and theyre only intensified when your ex jumps into a new and apparently perfect relationship. Suddenly thoughts of whats wrong with me, why cant I, or when will I enter the picture. Whether married for 30 days or 30 years, chances are there will come a time when youre ready to reconnect on a non-platonic basis. When that happens is completely up to you, but there are some things you should consider prior to dating after divorce.

Focus on Your Feelings, not the Calendar

Some people are ready to jump into another relationship weeks or months after divorcing whereas others may take years. The new freedoms and life stresses after divorce affect everyone differently, so theres no need to rush. Give yourself plenty of breathing room. Accept and adjust to the new emotions and learn to put yourself above someone else for a change. Think and grieve prior to looking for someone new so that relationship starts off healthy and right for you.

Unfollow the Ex

Social media is a great way to stay connected, and that is often required when it comes to joint custody or extended family needs. However, that doesnt mean you have to still be involved or privy to their new lifeespecially if it suddenly involves continual happily ever after posts. By all means, be happy that theyve found peace and moved on, but not at the expense of your own sanity. If you cant block, simply unfollow so your news feed isnt congested by their pollution. And realize that if youre unable to break away, chances are youre not yet ready to consider dating.

Power Through the Fear

Just the thought of dating after divorce can cause an influx of negative emotions ranging from self-doubt to pure terror. Even Wikipedias overly detailed and borderline clinical take on dating can make just about anyone consider staying single forever. While the details are logistically accurate, theyre missing the entire point: that dating should be a fun reminder that theres still plenty of excitement worth experiencing. Get a few trusted friends involved by telling them youre interested in meeting someone. Accept invitations to events and parties. Go on some blind or double dates. Dip those toes in and eventually, youll be ready to wade and maybe even swim.

Decide What Youre After

Not all dating intentions are alike and deciding what your dating intention is prior to looking can help you avoid wasting time and effort. While dating alone seems like the basic intention, its really just the first step. You already have an idea of what youre looking for or willing to accept, so write it down. Are you looking for a physical connection with no strings, a temporary liaison, friends with benefits, or an exclusive commitment? Deciding that early will help shape how you proceed meeting others with like interests and intents.

Connect Online

Chances are the dating scenes changed a bit since you were single. Maybe the internet didnt even exist. Nonetheless, modern times call for contemporary dating solutions and online dating is now mainstream. According to Pew Research, 15% of adults use online dating sites. Age doesnt seem to be a deterrent since online dating for 18-24-year-olds has increased three-fold since 2013 while online dating for seniors has doubled during the same timeframe. Confused where to start? Be sure to discuss your worries with your Michigan divorce attorney prior to the divorce for up-to-the-minute stats or information on your concerns. You deserve to be happy.