Written by Christopher on August 3, 2017

After an Affair: Is Divorce Inevitable?

Law

Divorce is often considered an ugly word, especially when heard by those in a solid or happy marriage. And yet, for many, a Michigan divorce is inevitable. Michigan may be a no-fault state, but that certainly doesnt mean the partners are blameless. While infidelity, or cheating, is thought of as the primary reason for divorce, it actually ranks below lack of emotional support, financial disagreements, and lack of communication. However, all of those issues can eventually lead to adultery which, in turn, can have devastating results on a previously stable marriage. But is divorce really inevitable after an affair?

Why Do Affairs Occur?

To foresee whether or not divorce is inevitable after an affair, its important to understand why infidelity occurs in the first place. While science claims humans arent a naturally monogamous species, its certainly not impossible to be content with a single partner. In other words, monogamy is a choice. But like all choices, the scale can tip rather easily. Men and women are completely different here though. When men cheat, theyre usually searching for a physical connection. When women cheat, on the other hand, its usually to connect on an emotional level. And yes, both genders do cheat on their partners.

In fact, statistics show that 30 to 60% of all American marriages will suffer or be commit infidelity at some point during the relationship. Romance is always easy in the beginning. Everythings fresh, new, and exciting. But as life advances and differences arise, couples tend to disconnect for a variety of reasons. Finances, lack of communication, addiction, religious differences, and even extended family or friend drama can derail even the strongest couples. Infidelity is not the cause of a disconnected relationship, but its often the result.

Affairs occur when one or both spouses ignore the problems they already have in the relationship and act out by focusing on their own temporary needs. Its a selfish decision that can hurt your partner, destroy your marriage/family, and ultimately put your life at risk. And those who cheat are 350% more likely on average to cheat again. The actions of an affair speak louder than years of sweet talk and promises. So yes, one mistake can ruin lives. But does it have to? Not necessarily.

Is Divorce Really Inevitable?

Every relationship is different, and moving on from a mistakeeven one as huge as betrayalrequires forgiveness. Whether or not thats possible on your end depends upon your ability to forgive and move on. But that requires more than words. The effort is often too much for couples to bear. Couples need to be honest with themselves and each other for healing to occur. They need to be totally committed to rebuilding trust. They must be able to stomach uncomfortable conversations and be able to talk openly with each other about the discretion as well as all forms of regret leading up to it without unnecessary passive aggression. Couples that survive an affair must be able to express anger and sorrow and be invested in activities that will heal and fortify the bond. And finally, counseling is mandatory after such a serious blow to any relationship. If youre both open to those steps, your marriage may survive. But if not, your Michigan divorce attorney can help you start living again.